Top 10 reasons I'm happy to be home!

In case you didn't know, I'm home.  And I have 10 reasons why this is a good thing!

1.  Family.  I have a new granddaughter!  

Need I say more?

2.  My bed.  I've counted over 30 different sleeping arrangements over the past 90 days.  These have included a mattress thrown on the floor, an overnight bus ride, and beds in twenty different cities and three different countries.  There is nothing like coming home to one's own bed.

3.  Toilet paper.  South America, as a rule, does not have the kind of plumbing that allows for the flushing of toilet paper.  Your soiled toilet paper is placed in a waste can next to the toilet.  It's nice to be home and flush away.

4.  Tap water.  Nowhere in South America is it a good idea to drink water from the tap.  The issues could range from bacterial to mineral content causing mild to major discomfort.  One never just fills a cup with unfiltered tap water to drink.  All drinkable water must be purchased in bottled form.  

5.  Mexican food.  Although a staple of Brazilian cuisine is rice and beans, it is not the same.  Those who ask if Brazilian food is anything like Mexican food need to look at a map of the Americas.  

6.  English.  God has been so gracious to bless me with the ability to speak, preach and pray in Portuguese.  But simply being able to speak English with my homies is a genuine source of praise.

7.  My car.  I haven't driven in three months.  You miss it when you don't have it, believe it or not.

8.  Non-suitcase life.  I've lived out of a suitcase for three months.  This means a limited wardrobe and the constant concern for where I might encounter a washing machine, or whether the day will be sunny enough to dry clothes hanging on an outdoor line.   I have three identical black polo shirts in case you are wondering why I'm always wearing the same clothes in those Facebook photos.

9.  Receipts.  Although this was a mission trip, it was also a business trip.  This means that every expenditure has to be accompanied by a receipt.  Every expenditure.

10. Technology.  At home you can expect to find a wifi or 3G connection at little or no cost.  In South America, the search for wifi is much more of an adventure.  In fact, my favorite application was something called "Mandic Magic," which enabled me to find nearby wifi signals if I wasn't in a familiar location.  

And international 3G? It was something to be used sparingly.

Please don't imagine that I was unhappy to be in South America.  Far from it!  I am blessed to be able to serve there.  The people have been warm and welcoming.  It's just that it's also nice to be able to come home, be renewed and refreshed, before heading out again.  

Thank you for your prayers and support!  

Blessings from PJ

The world isn't California

One of the challenges of cross-cultural training is convincing people that how they dress in California may not be okay elsewhere. 

In the last decade there has been much press coverage given to the circumstances of western women working, living or traveling in Arab countries, and their need to observe the more traditional expectations of women in those cultures. It has become commonplace to see female news correspondents wearing the traditional niqab or veiled head covering, together with wrist-length sleeves and ankle length skirts in order to avoid offense in these Muslim-majority areas. The example of this respectful observance of cultural norms and traditions is an important feature of effective cross-cultural interaction.

I continue to revisit this principle and make the effort to instruct others that the somewhat accepted southern California churchwear of tank-tops, shorts and rubber slippers would not be permissible in public in Brazil. 

This is a difficult principle to convey to people. But it is also a way for the agency to measure an individual's teachability and openness to change. 

My own lesson came during my first trip to Brazil in the city of Campo Grande. I was preparing to attend an evening event at the local church. I asked the pastor's daughter if it would be permissible for me to wear shorts to the service. She said it would be okay. Upon changing and joining the pastor and his wife in the family's living room to leave for the church, I was told, "Pastor John, you cannot wear those clothes. It is not appropriate attire." Of course, I remonstrated that their daughter had given her okay. "No, Pastor John. Those clothes will not be acceptable." So I went back to my room and changed.

That transition between insisting on what I thought was okay and what the people within the culture thought was okay can sometimes be a long journey. I have worked with many people for whom the transition was a rough and rocky road. One example of the cultural norm running head-on into personal preferences is the "no shorts in public rule." By shorts, let me be clear that we're talking about what were once called "bermuda shorts" or cut-offs. For the most part, except for campgrounds, soccer games and beach cities, wearing shorts has not been the cultural norm for professionals in Brazil. 

In urban contexts, at church events, at the shopping malls, men always wear long pants. And although I am not positive about this, I think this was also true for women. Even in their leisure hours, people simply didn't wear shorts in urban settings. On the other hand, wearing shorts in the privacy of their homes or for our workers within the confines of their homestays was not an issue.

Here is where north clashed with south. "Why can't we wear shorts? Why do we have to wear long pants when it's so hot?" When cultural values do battle with personal preferences and convenience, it can be challenging. I found that saying, "Because that's the way it is" to not be very helpful. By the same token, explaining the culture and custom of the country wasn't helpful either. The training had to address the more personal issue of choosing to be a bridge rather than a barrier.

Americans learn slowly. I don't remember any other time in the history of middle east conflict where women journalists observed the Arab tradition for clothing. It seems to be a more recent shift. But the fact is we also weren't at war with everyone in the world with the potential of creating more tension.

For good or for ill, allowing our personal preferences to give way to an acceptance and embracing of cultural norms is about bridge building. It's about not choosing to permit a relatively minor temporal, physical matter to become a barrier that results in eternal spiritual consequences. It may be helpful to think of the familiar biblical passage in a slightly different way: "What good is it for a person to gain the whole world and lose their soul?" Paraphrased, "Sure, you can have your way, but will it cause someone to not hear what you have to say because they can't get around the way you're dressed?"

No one said that building cross-cultural bridges would be easy. Not everywhere can nor should be like California.

What's wrong with helping?

I was to learn the importance of right words on my very first visit to São Paulo as a JEMS director in 1992. Addressing a meeting of thirty pastors and leaders, I shared JEMS' vision for work in Brazil. 

I spoke through an interpreter, thus giving me the opportunity to read the audience reaction during the side-by-side interpretation format. My comments were no more than three or four minutes, but I noticed that after one of my comments that there was a wave of reaction. Neither smiles nor approving nods. 

After the meeting I was approached by three of the leaders and very graciously, but firmly instructed on my use of language. In my presentation I had stated our agency's intention to "help the Nikkei churches of Brazil." Can anyone spot the problem? 

No? The problem was in the use of the word "help." As one of many emerginging nations, Brazil had a particular sensitivity to the idea of being the "little brother" in the economic and global political environment. 

The idea of "helping" the Nikkei churches, though completely unintentional, had the sound of big brother helping the more unfortunate little brother. The leadership of that group heard it as the intention of some mighty USA-based enterprise "swooping to the rescue of the Brazilian Nikkei churches." 

In Portuguese the word "ajudar" is defined as helping those who are helpless or without strength or resources. I learned from the leadership that a better word, a word that would best express my intention, would be the verb, "partner." 

Far from being one-sided, the relationship would be collaborative and equal. That difference would lay the foundation for a good relationship between JEMS, as an international agency and the Nikkei Brazilian leadership. 

In this partnership, we north Americans have received so much from our Brazilian Nikkei counterparts. Their emotion and expression of worship, their openness and warmth in relationships, their fervor for prayer and praise. In most cases, it is clear that who helped whom was not the way you might think. 

This also indicates how very careful one must be in cross-cultural communication efforts. A wrong word can close the door. I must say that even with the unfortunate wording of my first official contact, people responded graciously to our initial overtures to establish collaborations. 

Today as JEMS workers come to Brazil, they are instructed as to the use of language and wording in describing the purpose of their ministry to the church in Brazil. And yes, there are still moments when I cringe when a young JEMS worker will say with enthusiasm, "we're here to help you!" 

We have a lot to learn yet.