The world isn't California

One of the challenges of cross-cultural training is convincing people that how they dress in California may not be okay elsewhere. 

In the last decade there has been much press coverage given to the circumstances of western women working, living or traveling in Arab countries, and their need to observe the more traditional expectations of women in those cultures. It has become commonplace to see female news correspondents wearing the traditional niqab or veiled head covering, together with wrist-length sleeves and ankle length skirts in order to avoid offense in these Muslim-majority areas. The example of this respectful observance of cultural norms and traditions is an important feature of effective cross-cultural interaction.

I continue to revisit this principle and make the effort to instruct others that the somewhat accepted southern California churchwear of tank-tops, shorts and rubber slippers would not be permissible in public in Brazil. 

This is a difficult principle to convey to people. But it is also a way for the agency to measure an individual's teachability and openness to change. 

My own lesson came during my first trip to Brazil in the city of Campo Grande. I was preparing to attend an evening event at the local church. I asked the pastor's daughter if it would be permissible for me to wear shorts to the service. She said it would be okay. Upon changing and joining the pastor and his wife in the family's living room to leave for the church, I was told, "Pastor John, you cannot wear those clothes. It is not appropriate attire." Of course, I remonstrated that their daughter had given her okay. "No, Pastor John. Those clothes will not be acceptable." So I went back to my room and changed.

That transition between insisting on what I thought was okay and what the people within the culture thought was okay can sometimes be a long journey. I have worked with many people for whom the transition was a rough and rocky road. One example of the cultural norm running head-on into personal preferences is the "no shorts in public rule." By shorts, let me be clear that we're talking about what were once called "bermuda shorts" or cut-offs. For the most part, except for campgrounds, soccer games and beach cities, wearing shorts has not been the cultural norm for professionals in Brazil. 

In urban contexts, at church events, at the shopping malls, men always wear long pants. And although I am not positive about this, I think this was also true for women. Even in their leisure hours, people simply didn't wear shorts in urban settings. On the other hand, wearing shorts in the privacy of their homes or for our workers within the confines of their homestays was not an issue.

Here is where north clashed with south. "Why can't we wear shorts? Why do we have to wear long pants when it's so hot?" When cultural values do battle with personal preferences and convenience, it can be challenging. I found that saying, "Because that's the way it is" to not be very helpful. By the same token, explaining the culture and custom of the country wasn't helpful either. The training had to address the more personal issue of choosing to be a bridge rather than a barrier.

Americans learn slowly. I don't remember any other time in the history of middle east conflict where women journalists observed the Arab tradition for clothing. It seems to be a more recent shift. But the fact is we also weren't at war with everyone in the world with the potential of creating more tension.

For good or for ill, allowing our personal preferences to give way to an acceptance and embracing of cultural norms is about bridge building. It's about not choosing to permit a relatively minor temporal, physical matter to become a barrier that results in eternal spiritual consequences. It may be helpful to think of the familiar biblical passage in a slightly different way: "What good is it for a person to gain the whole world and lose their soul?" Paraphrased, "Sure, you can have your way, but will it cause someone to not hear what you have to say because they can't get around the way you're dressed?"

No one said that building cross-cultural bridges would be easy. Not everywhere can nor should be like California.